Tonia Hetherington is a Relationship Coach and Registered Psychotherapist, as well as an Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner and trained relational mediator.
Her work integrates psychotherapy—supporting emotional insight and healing relational patterns—with coaching that focuses on building skills and creating meaningful change. Tonia supports couples to understand the patterns that shape their relationships, while developing the capacity to respond differently in moments that matter.
As a specialist in Couples Counselling and Relationship Therapy Tonia assists people navigating conflict, disconnection, life transitions, or separation. Her approach is multidisciplinary, drawing on a range of evidence based modalities.
Tonia also provides IFS Therapy to individuals looking to make change and heal trauma, developing self understanding to address many concerns including depression, anxiety and self-acceptance.
In 2014, following a career in business, Tonia undertook a significant revision of her career and social contribution. Tonia was moved to study and practice psychotherapy and counselling, initially focussing on men’s mental health. Later, impressed by the accountability and results achieved in the couple and group context, she undertook specialist training in couples counselling and today maintains relationship therapy and coaching as her focus.
Tonia brings her coaching expertise from 25 years working in management and global roles. Combining her goal-focussed approach and strategic thinking with clinical depth and significant life experience, Tonia’s clients benefit from insightful, nuanced and action-oriented guidance.
Tonia is also acknowledged for her relatability, which helps clients feel supported in taking on their growth opportunities in both their personal lives and in their workplaces. Her business experience traverses entrepreneurial, SME, mid-sized business and global roles; and from strategic functions to hands-on operational roles.
Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy and Counselling
Integrative Couples Counselling, Relationships Australia Victoria
Level 1 Relational Life Therapy, Relational Life Institute
Level 1 Internal Family Systems Therapy, IFS Institute
Level 1 Affect Dysregulation, Survival Defenses and Traumatic Memory, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute, CO USA
Level 1 Experiential Focussing, Biliana Dearly
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Masterclass, Cairnmillar Institute
Accredited NMAS Mediator, Relationships Australia Victoria
Mindfulness, Mindful Action
Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST), Living Works
Group Facilitation Training, Support after Suicide, JSS Prevention Services
CBT Masterclass, Cairnmillar Institute
Emotion Focussed Therapy (EFT)- attachment based
Psychodynamic Therapy
Family Systems Therapy
Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)
Mindfulness
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Australian Counsellors Association (ACA)
Member Melbourne Community of Emotion Focussed Therapists (MCEFT)
Internal Family Systems Directory Australia
Tonia brings a warm non-judgemental style and a deep respect for her clients. She blends inner exploration with embodied practice to support the personal growth and professional development of her clients.
Tonia also uses a strengths-based approach, helping her clients build on the positives while undertaking the challenges that change brings.
Tonia draws her own renewal from nature, yoga, productive gardening, art making and meaningful human connection. Tonia has had her own spiritual practice for 35 years and her mindful approach to life helps her clients centre and attune. Her personal values are to prioritise relationships, positivity, courage, resilience, curiosity and compassion.
– Tonia
Alongside her formal training, Tonia brings a depth of lived experience that helps her understand people and the challenges they face.
Life has, at times, asked her to navigate some very difficult situations. Tonia has survived challenging experiences and continues to manage others that demand ongoing resilience and adaptation. Tonia has been in situations that have tested her emotional capacity, faith in self, endurance and the ability to pivot and solve complex problems.
Additionally, having spent many years in the world of business and leadership, Tonia has plenty of experience where the external expectation to perform has sat in contrast to what is happening internally. These experiences have given her a deep respect for how people continue to show up, even when life feels heavy and business and workplace stress is high.
Tonia’s life experience added to her clinical knowledge means her clients benefit from deep experience, embodied wisdom and an ability to relate.
Curious and open-mindedness – Tonia approaches her client’s issues with an open exploratory mindset and without judgement.
Insightful – Tonia supports clients by collaborating on the discovery of the unconscious or past origins of current issues in order to facilitate greater client self-compassion and partner compassion.
Goal focussed – Tonia is directive and suggests actions for change, balancing efficiency (speed of change/value for money) with providing her clients with time and space to do important complex emotional work.
Empathic – Tonia allows space for her clients unique experience to be deeply felt and accepts the client as the expert in their own lives.
Cultural humility – Tonia prioritises the wellbeing of her clients and offers unconditional positive regard to clients of all backgrounds and genders. She brings a preparedness to learn the cultural values and contexts of her clients and be challenged if bias is found.
Ethics – Upholding the ethical standards of the ACA including strict client confidentiality and ongoing professional development.
This work is grounded in relationship psychology – understanding not just what’s happening, but why. Most couples attend between 8–12 sessions. Some concerns can be resolved more quickly, while more complex or long-standing patterns may take longer to work through with care.
Individual sessions offer space to think clearly about your relationships, patterns, and next steps. Some people attend for a handful of sessions, while others choose to stay longer to work through deeper or more complex experiences.
Standard sessions run for 50–60 minutes. With agreement some IFS sessions run for 90 minutes.
You’re welcome to attend on your own at any stage—whether you’re reflecting on a relationship, navigating challenges, or considering change. While individual work can be very helpful, couples counselling allows both perspectives to be understood more fully. If your partner joins later, this can be thoughtfully worked through.
In general no, but there will be moments when, with permission, Tonia will slow the session down so she can get a granular view of what is going on – first from one partners perspective, then the others perspective. Sometimes getting both perspectives might happen over a couple of sessions, so it may feel unbalanced until both parties experiences are explored. On those occasions she asks for patience. Each member of the couple will have a subjective experience in the room, and sometimes one person can feel ‘in the hot seat’ even when they are being shown compassion. Tonia also names the patterns and dynamics she witnesses and that can be challenging for both parties to hear. Although hearing this is challenging, it is usually the foundation for the change the couple are seeking.
Scepticism is very common. The very first session is focussed on learning each partners goals for counselling. Tonia takes the time to listen deeply and hopefully build enough trust for the reluctant partner to want to try therapy for the sake of the relationship
Support is available for organisations seeking counselling for employees. This includes areas such as stress, anxiety, workplace conflict, trauma, and grief. Sessions can take place in private practice, on-site or through telehealth.
Finding the right fit matters. When looking for couples counselling in Melbourne, it can help to choose someone with a strong foundation in relationship psychology and relevant professional registration (such as ACA or PACFA). Book in with Tonia for a 15 minute chat and then if that feels right, an initial session is often the best way to see if there is a good client-therapist fit. If a client does not feel the fit is right, Tonia is happy to help refer to others in her network. Client satisfaction and the therapeutic relationship are very important for the success of the work.
Schedule a consultation and take the first step toward the relationship you want.
